The woes of air travel

Heart To Heart

By Dr. Muhammad Hafizullah

Imagine being stranded to an extremely small seat for sixteen hours. A seat which can only support a person not weighing more than 60 kg; that too without any option of tossing around and breathing deeply.

The mere thought of being stuck in plane is horrifying but to be confined to an economy class seat is a 'severe punishment'.

The seat in economy class is epitome of sweet scientific revenge from people who regard traveling in high esteem. A lot of research has gone into devising a seat in which the poor passenger cannot afford to stretch his legs, support his back and change his side. One needs help of at least three persons while getting up from the seat. Two have to pull and one person has to push from the back. Lack of lumbar support leaves an ache which persists for weeks and keeps reminding of 'uncommitted sins' and 'unfulfilled desires' of air travel.

On a Boeing 777 there are four seats in the centre, with two rows of three seats on both sides. Every seat has her rewards. Window seat is not a bad option as one has a little more space - breathing space on one side and bored from seeing the same faces for hours, one can change side and looking through the window to indulge in the world outside. It offers a little support for head if one puts a pillow in the space between the seat and the window to rest the poor head. But what does one do if one has to go to bathroom? There is no space at all! One either has to decide to jump over fellow passengers or cause great inconvenience to the persons occupying the middle and aisle seats and actually displace them from their seats and make them stand. God forbid if the fellow on the aisle seat is an old person, an obese fellow or a fat lady; life becomes very difficult and natural peristalsis movement have to be suppressed to cause great personal inconvenience. Worse if the gate keeper turns out to be a gentleman of whims, he might oblige once or twice but may refuse flatly third time. What does one do? After all no formal agreements are signed before seating, in which the gate keeper is legally bound to offer a way whenever he is requested or ordered. Carrying arms and their use is strictly banned and is actively discouraged, so it leaves with very few options but to put unnecessary stress on one's gut and bladder.

Aisle seats are always preferred seats as one can get out of the seat as and when one desires. Unlike window seat and in between, one does not have to submit petitions to the fellow passenger for the right of way. But as a gate keeper one has to offer a 'safe passage' to fellow passengers. On an eight hours flight, if both parties decide to visit the bathroom every two hours, this will result in getting up from the seat eight times. Getting up from a decent seat may not be a difficult proposal but getting out of an economy seat is an ordeal.

On our last trip from New York to Dubai, the gentleman on the window seat had to go to the bathroom every hour. He was rather impolite and thrice he woke up the sleeping gentleman and asked to give way. The sleeping traveler did not approve of this and this turned into a loutish brawl.

An airhostess had to intervene and that calmed down the high tempers on both sides.

A seat in the middle is a curse from all angles, getting in is difficult and getting out is more difficult. For people a little on the heavy side, maneuvering in the middle seat requires tremendous effort. One has to look after different folds of body, slowly transfer to the next seat and then spread them over on the specified seats. God help you if one happens to be neighbour of an obese person. Such persons traverse physical territories and encroach on adjoining seats. Stuck between two fat persons can make breathing difficult, eating impracticable and turning around almost impossible.

It is at times like this that one considers the possibility of filing a legal suit against the airline and merits of separate seats or compartment for fat people. Central seats can be a blessing if one is traveling with a family, and wishes to tuck in the young children in between.

A seat like this may turn out to be a real boon and actually better than first class seat if one can have all the seats to one self. Stretching on four or five seats with pillows tucked in here and there and a blanket on top is a special treat especially so, if flight has to last for more than a few hours.

"A passenger is not feeling well, medical help is required; doctors to please identify themselves to the staff," announced the airhostess as we were trying to make ourselves comfortable in our seats and prepare to go to sleep. It was a British airways trans-Atlantic flight. Usually a crowd accumulates on such announcements, so I chose to ignore the announcement. The announcement was repeated and this time it merited my attention. It transpired that an elderly Anglo Indian lady had fallen unconscious in the aisle. As I examined her, she had a slow barely palpable pulse with little response to oral commands. The doctor patient game set in and with the enthusiastic help of the newly recruited nurses -airhostesses, the patient recovered completely and started talking. It was a wonderful experience to reign in the ever bigheaded airhostesses, who helped me putting in an intravenous line, looking for drugs, filling syringes and keeping written records. Every one was very happy and immensely thankful at the end of this ordeal. Later, an airhostess came to me and conveyed captain's desire to see me and offer thanks. I had to catch on my sleep so in return I reciprocated -offered my thanks and declined to see the captain. She returned a few minutes later and made an offer I could not refuse.

The captain offered me an upgrade to first class which I thankfully accepted. I remember looking at mouth watering first class seats, which could turn into a flat bed with pillow and curtains around, with envy and greed. This was a different world - from economy class seat where seat literally traps you, here it was a palatial seat. This seat could adjust in hundreds of ways on touch of electric buttons, with some recommended positions, it had a spare stool in front to hang legs on, no dearth of space to stretch legs, lots of room to change sides or even accommodate another person, special button to offer support to back, special lights and personal screen with plenty to eat and drink. If there were any tears in eyes; they were only to express gratitude to Allah Subhanu Taala and some on the sad plight of economy class seats.

Getting up from an economy class seat is not at all an easy undertaking; in that small seat besides accommodating the body one has to put at least ten more things. After some time the remote control is wrapped from left to right and head phones have some how or the other engulfed left arm and neck. Menu is tucked in left corner, socks on right side and book is allowed to take a rear gap. Pillow usually slips from under the head and finds a new space. To make it worse the comforter is wrapped around and has taken wires in its fold. So when one wants to stand, the seat belt reminds rather rudely half way. Or wires are struck so badly that one falls flat on the back. Or still worse, as one stands things start falling on the ground.

Eating food on a central street can be daunting task; with physical limitations of movements and observing the sovereignty of territories of neighbours, arms have to move in a very restricted environment. If one is unfortunate to have an obese neighbour, whose body is going beyond the geographical limits, eating becomes more difficult. In situations like this where breathing has to be regulated, eating seems to be a 'pure luxury'. Eating a tasteless airline meal is a punishment per-se but what I hate the most is to organise and later reorganise the so many required and undesirable items in the tray being pushed and pulled from both sides as well.

When the lights are turned off and an opportunity is offered to steal some sleep and give the hyperactive mind a few moments of rest during air travel, which has turned out to be an ultimate test of resilience and patience, the things can get worse. Imagine being entrapped in a centre seat with neighbour on the left blowing his carbon dioxide directly in your face, and the passenger on the right side taking a little turn and purloining your oxygen store while lost in the lap of deep slumber.

If any one of them decides to start snoring and the partner on the other side enters into competition, the things can turn even worse than that! Simple mechanical gizmos like ear plugs are no solution to such a life and sanity threatening situation.

The person on the left may snore in raag bherveen and the one on the right may offer an apposite reply in raag darbari; at moments like these all you want to do is to join in with tabla and use one of neighbor's head as drum. In economy class there is no privacy and no geographical barriers, passengers are made to squeeze in whatever space is available. Whenever darkness reigns all over and artificial stars sparkle on the ceiling of plane one's natural desire is to recline the seat and stretch legs to have some rest.

Seat refuses to recline and if it does by a few degrees, the person on the back howls and growls and if the protest remains unheeded, may resort to physical violence or frank thumping on back of the seat. The real worth of a 'simple bed', on which a person can lie flat, unveils at moments like these.

Modern air travel may be the biggest scientific curse of this century but travelling in economy class is the ultimate 'barbaric inhuman punishment'. All human right commissions should raise hue and cry about it and must demand some decency and self respect for paying travelers. Minimum seat size and ecological requirements have to be determined and enforced. In their drive to cut cost and save money, we -the travelers have been deprived of essential bare minimum necessities.

The day is not far off when judges in courts will be handing over punishments like this to condemned prisoners, "in the light of all the evidence, in lieu of heinous crimes committed, you are being subjected to twelve hours of air journey in economy class and return the same day.