The sacred bond

At one time it could have not occurred to anyone that wedding could be an option! Growing up had its own rewards like studying, finding job and then finding a spouse to get married. May not be true any more as the wedding rates are being recorded at the lowest in 144 years in Europe as a whole and in UK in particular since 1862.

The figures released by the office for National statistics of UK have been received like a bombshell by many thinking sensitive minds.

Last year, fewer than 23 men in every thousand and just over 20 women in every thousand tied a nuptial bond in UK.

There are proven scientific advantages to marriage such as one lives longer and enjoys healthier and happier life.

Marriage provides psychological refuge. Living in a relationship has been shown to offer security especially as age advances. Unmarried persons do not enjoy that sense of protection and are more prone to emotional upheavals.

Suicide rate is definitely higher in the Western world among singles.

One the one hand marriage rate is decreasing and on the other hand divorce rate is increasing.

Latest data from UK suggests that those who get married, 45 per cent will split up in a decade. One in ten will not make it to past five years. The divorce rate was 37 per cent in UK two decades ago but has been increasing at a very alarming rate.

The proportion of marriages ending up in divorce by the 50th anniversary has risen from 34 per cent in 1979-80 to 45 per cent in 2005. The good news is that if couple remains married for ten years, the survival improves significantly. At twenty years only 15 per cent will end up in divorce and beyond 25 years only a few will end up in divorce. If death rate and divorce rates remain the same in UK, ten per cent of those marrying now will be able to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary.

Half of marriages ending because of divorce, and half of the toll is due to death of spouses.

A report by a noble laureate psychologist Prof Daniel Kahneman on German socio economic European women reported 'marriage itch' occurring after four years! Many married people question their decisions as they have lesser time for socialising and seeing friends due to more family chores and commitments. Some of them considered marriage as loss of independence. The marriage itch was previously reported at five years and is occurring earlier. This has been regarded as a source of concern by many quarters.

Divorce ruins the family life and adversely affects upbringing of children.

Every one in four kids has a single parent according to the recently released report by the office for national statistics.

This number has doubled in the last twenty years. It's observed that 13 per cent of population in UK totaling 7.5 million lived alone. Single parent families have seen a marked surge in English society. It has gone up from 5000 in 1999 to a whooping figure of 15000 in 2006.

The number of men and women aged between 25 to 40 years, living alone doubled between 1986 and 2006.

This has resulted in relative poverty described as 'child poverty'. Here children are raised by one income as compared to double income being earned by both parents. The children raised by both parents are reported to be healthier and do better in school. This trend is on the increase but more so in poor people.

This acts like a double edged sword, where as the income is already reduced due to lower earning and it is further reduced to half as only one parent is earning.

This has significant effect on the upbringing of children. The government has been urged to make a serious note of it and efforts need to be made to enhance the income and support such families and children.

A series of recent studies and reports have brought the plight of English youth to limelight and earned a title story for Newsweek. It was brought to notice that of young kids below the age of 15 years 27 per cent had been drunk more than twenty times in a year as compared to 12 per cent in Germany, 6 per cent in Netherlands, 5 per cent in Italy and 3 per cent in France.

The percentage of youngsters having used cannabis in the last 12 months was 35 in UK, 31 in USA, 22 in Netherlands and 18 in Germany.

Kids having being exposed to sex below 15 years of age was highest in UK 40 per cent girls and 35 per cent boys as compared to 15 per cent in Spain and around 21 per cent in Netherlands.

Violent offences rose to 37 per cent in three years to 2006.

Teenage pregnancy and abortions are the highest in UK.

Why is it so? A study done in 20,000 persons documented that British parents tended to spend less time with their children as compared to other nationalities. As a result young people live in a world with very little meaningful contact or engagement with adults and reality.

Dropout rate is very high in UK and still higher among children brought up by single parents. Most kids opt out of school for unskilled professions. Even British education has come under heavy fire; the number of students per class is higher than any other European nation.

The system is based on individual education and competition and this kills the spirit of comrade ship and class fellows are taken not as support but potential threat.

In a competitive environment when someone is struggling the student is regarded as 'not trying hard enough' and instead of encouragement the person is made to feel stupid.

The modern world has become a global village; our youth is influenced by the trends in the western world. Western lifestyle and social customs affect the thinking of our younger generation. Cable TV and internet has narrowed the gap between the West and the East. The Western culture is being projected in dramas and soap operas and that is being displayed in our bedrooms.

Many so called modern people are questioning the institution of marriage.

The divorce rate is already increasing in the so called elitist segment of our society. Concerted efforts are required by all the strata of society to firstly take stock of the situation and secondly put our acts together to prevent these suicidal trends.

Positive steps have to be implemented at all levels, right from kindergarten to university. Curriculum has to be revised in the light of new objectives.

Practical steps have to be taken to strengthen the institution of marriage by incorporating financial incentives in it.

Marriage is a sacred institution and the support we have from our religion has to be reinforced and utilised as a positive inspiration in our social setup.